“Little Flock” is a vulnerable album that spends a lot of time exploring inward.
Brooke and I lived a big year in 2017. We welcomed our daughter into the world, we traveled, we saw massive success in our businesses, and I trained for and ran the best race of my life, which resulted in achieving Boston Marathon qualification — a lifelong goal.
From an outside perspective, it was the best year of our lives. But there was more stress than I can adequately describe in words. Stress related to finances, relationships inside and outside our home, and the weight of caring for a newborn. It seemed like we were taking one step forward publicly, and two steps backwards behind closed doors.
A few months after Holland was born, I entered a fog of depression that rocked me to my core. A season of life that I expected to be awe-inspiring was bleak and desperate.
It was in these months that I became ashamed of my mood swings, my fear, my attitude, my habits, my temper, and then ashamed of my shame. It was a vicious cycle that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
But I also started recording in that season. At the beginning of 2018, I had a batch of demos, and I promised myself to work on them for the entire year, not releasing anything until 2019.
Those demos became “Little Flock.”
The songs helped me make sense of 2017. The process of writing, recording, editing, re-writing, re-recording, etc… It was healing.
I didn't know what this album was about until halfway through the year, but if you’d like to know, here my best guess: This album explores my identity and how it shifted in 2017. I can hear myself asking “Who did I used to be? Who am I now? What’s changed? What’s stayed the same?”
I’m a shepherd to my little flock. I’m also a sheep in the vast flock of my creator. The most sacred things in my life are my relationships with God, Brooke, and my kids.
As an artist and human, I am proud of this work. And I am proud of my growth through this season of life.